Dinos and Gals:
Once again last night, dinosaurs ruled my dreams.
I can still feel the chill from their hunger screams.
In this particular dream, their teeth looked especially mean.
They'd tear a hole right in my soul if they got hold of me.
Once again last night, girls haunted my dreams.
I can still feel the chill from their loving me.
In this particular dream, the girls and dinos were a team
and the only thing on their mind was to hunt down and eat me.
I'm a chew toy in my own mind
Deep sleeping my worst fears alive
So the girls rode the dinos in my head as it sleeps.
Each enemy craving to rip a different part out of me.
Through the dino eye im just a tasty piece of meat.
But gals see something more: a bitter foe to defeat.
So the girls and the dinos tracked me down just like a dog.
Snipping and snarling and clawing my dream to a bloody fog.
So when i hit their bellies after they ate every last piece
Thats when i finally wakey and thankfully can still breathe.
I'm a chew toy in my own mind
Deep sleeping my worst fears alive
Ive done my penance
Stop the inflammation
At least twice a month I have this dream where I am suddenly surrounded by fog and it is suffocating me, but then out of nowhere I am saved by this lumberjack that is also a giraffe, or maybe he is riding a giraffe. Either way, I am saved and brought to a girafee nest, where all these baby giraffes are cracking out of eggs. The shells are like the entire ground and the crunch becomes so loud I am forced to freeze for like forever.
Then it switches and I am trudging through a river of jello. Lime jello, too. Totally nasty. Does that sound sellable?!
Almost all of my dreams include the following:
Someone trying to kill me
Me on top of a skyscraper that is collapsing
Needless to say, my dreams are more on the nightmare side of the spectrum. The most vivid memory from my dream last night was of a bundle of needles that I must have accidentally swallowed and were lodged in my throat. So, I had to try and pull them all out of my throat without piercing myself with one of the needles or fully swallowing one. Everytime I tried to pull any out, my throat would try to suck the needles back in. A friend helped me get them out as if it was no big deal, and I still had a few lingering in there that I had to reach in and pull out. Once those were out of my throat, I felt something pinching, then piercing my forearm. It looked like a small (manmade) beetle, and it had latched into my skin like a parasite. When I applied pressure to it to pull it off, something in it had pierced and latched into my fingers. I suddenly had at least ten of these all over my body, with no way to remove them without being pierced again.
In last nights dream, I was somehow transported back to my childhood home and ironically trying to fall asleep in my old bedroom. I was having serious trouble getting to sleep in my dream, so I decided to I was also somehow able to pleasure myself orally. Apparently, I am Gumbi in my dreams. Anyway, as I am going to town on myself, I notice that my door is slightly open. Then I notice my Dad is there and watching!
He interrupts and asks me what I am doing. I tell him the truth and I wake up. Not sure if this is better or worse than sleeping with your mom in a dream.
As a butterfly, I find my way to the top of a high rise. I am staring down at the city when a pigeon swoops down and starts talking to me about the weather. The pigeon had a weird accent too. It sounded a lot like Borat, but a little more feminine.
We decide to fly off together toward the ocean, but the pigeon is just so much faster than my butterfly-self. I give up and stop flapping my little butter-wings. I start free falling toward the ground and crash through the surface. As I meet the Earth, I am no longer a butterfly, but have reverted to caterpillar. I can see my reflection in dew that has collected on a blade of grass. Not only am I then a caterpillar, but I have the face of a donkey. I don’t remember anything beyond that.
Most of my dreams are pretty boring and mimic my daily life.It is frustrating because I want to have crazy, exciting dreams, but end up in my office doing the mundane.
However, there was definitely a twist in the last one I remembered. I was doing my usual boring-ass work in my dream, when the computer began prompting me with questions kind of like in War Games, if you have seen that old Matthew Broderick movie. So it starts asking me questions in a weird computer-voice and I remember being really scared by this. I didn’t know what to do and started trying to get the attention of my co-workers, but they couldn’t hear me. So, I took my bottled water and fried the circuit board with the contents. Strangely, the computer caught fire and suddenly I was running through the halls of my work building trying to escape the flames. The trouble was I couldn’t find the exit. What does this mean?!
Where to begin... The only dreams I remember are profoundly bizarre. Sometimes appalling. In one, there was apparently some sort of alien invasion, and large UFOs filled the sky. They camped there for days. Then they mounted their attack. Form of... chairs. Falling chairs. They rained from the sky. Some sort of strange recumbent chairs, all colors. (I could draw a picture, but I don't think I can describe their shape.) I was outside at the time, but I managed to dodge them as I ran for shelter. I believe others were injured though, especially those unfortunate enough to be driving at the time. After that we all felt compelled to confine ourselves to our homes. Again for days we waited. Then the saucers came. They were about three feet in diameter, and hovered just inches off the ground. (Actually, one of them was able to enter my home through the crack under the front door.) They moved unexpectedly slowly, and most of them seemed content to meander eerily about the yard. The one that came into the house had me on edge, but I don't remember being especially terrified. My roommates and I were sitting around bored when I suggested we use the internet to check for news reports. Aaron countered excitedly that the internet should be used for online gaming. I suppose that's what the rest of them were doing when the vessel invaded. I remember all the lights were off, or at least very dim. I was somewhere between the living room and the kitchen, and I just stood there watching the thing make its way toward me, glowing ominously, fluorescent blue. It stopped about five feet short and--get this--turned into... a dog. Ridiculous, right? But the dog and I just stared into each other's eyes for a while. Eventually I somehow realized this was a gentle creature. I don't specifically remember performing the action, but I must have petted it, because I do remember that it was incredibly soft, like fleece.
I always dream that my wife aborted me even before I marred her
Okay, totally weird, I know, but I was a button. I don't even know, I know, but I was a button. Pretty sure I was a button on a dress shirt and I was going through the wash cycle. Then things got totally weird in the dryer and a pair of trousers was all like frisky and shit. I told him I only wanted to be friends, but he was so persistent. So, you know, we made some socks together.
I had one of those dreams where you are dreaming you are sleeping. So, there I lie and I feel this weird pressure on my right foot. I open my eyes and see this old school looking alien kinda playing with my foot the way a parent would play their babies foot. You know, like squeezing it and jiggling it a bit. It was freaky as shit.
I had to rip myself out of the dream, which is a hard thing to do sometimes, but I have mastered the technique of like violently shaking my head in the dream so I pop out of it.
Strangely, my apt building lost all power that night too and like I dunno, I got up to see what the fuck, and it was like still being in the alien dream.
An animated rendition of a dream: http://vimeo.com/30431176
had a dream my parents moved and the new people dug up my dead dogs. I'm very upset right now.
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